Season of Release

Here I am. FINALLY writing this first blog post. To those of you who know me, this will not be super shocking, but I have been dreaming up this blog for a LONG time… years… decades even. Long story short, it is time.

As I reflect on what took me so long to take the plunge and create this space, I know it came from a long history of living my life for others instead of for myself. We all do this to some extent, right? I think society has ingrained this in us from a very young age. And when we live our life for all of the people around us, trying to be everyone for everybody else all of the time, it really leaves no room for us to have our own voice. I had been too busy morphing into who everybody else needed me to be, and along the way I had lost myself. Sound familiar? Over the past several years, I have started to find my alignment again. This blog is my way of releasing my fear of letting somebody down. Here you will get me. All of me. This is not the space where I will create content to try to impress somebody who doesn’t align with the season I’m in. This is the space where I will show up authentically every time. This is a space I am creating for myself, but I also know there are many other people, especially women and mothers, who have experienced a lot of the same self-doubt I have experienced. If by sharing my journey, I am able to impact just one person’s life, it will have been worth it… even if that person is me. (Although, I must say, I have a strong feeling that more of you will be impacted by some of the things I’ve been holding inside.) I’m ready to share, and I hope you will join me.

I’ve recently undergone a season of release. I’ve released nearly everything in my life that did not perfectly align with where I am going next. It has been a challenging road to say the least, with some peaks and many valleys. But as I released more, I could feel myself coming into alignment. The next steps were presented to me from a Source that lives within, and my only job became following the path that was being put in front of me. Don’t get me wrong, I resisted many times. Some things were harder to release than others. I still feel as though I have things to release, but the things that need to be released now are more internal than external - thoughts and perceptions rather than people, companies or titles. My yoga instructor and soul sister, Melanie, has taught me “as within, so without” and vice-versa “as without, so within,” meaning what is happening inside your body will manifest itself outside, and what is happening outside will create change within. For that reason, I will continue my external experience of releasing things, to keep that energy moving and to allow the release of the internal stories that are not serving me in my current season. The external releases don’t have to be as big and bold as some that I’ve undergone recently (leaving a business partnership, leaving my office space, leaving multiple jobs). Moving forward, I will weed my gardens with intention. I will declutter my junk drawer and Marie Kondo my closet. All of these things will keep that energy of “release” flowing through me, because I know there is more that needs to be released. I can feel it in my soul; I’m not done releasing yet.

All of that said, I also feel new flowers sprouting, hence the creation of this space. Here in Ohio, we are currently in that middle season between winter and spring. At least at my house, there is still plenty of dead vegetation that needs to be cleared from the gardens to make room for the new vegetation to thrive. That is exactly where I feel I am in my current journey, still clearing out some of those things that are no longer helpful, watching a few of the tulips bloom (hello, blog!) and eagerly anticipating the fullness of our summer gardens.